To Do: Nothing

During this pregnancy, I've come to the realisation that I don't have bad days, I have bad weeks. One entire week of exhaustion, hormonal moodswings and emotions I just can't seem to control. This week was a bad one. It started off well enough, but with a little bit of stress piling onto the previous day's little bit of stress, I'm left feeling drained, exhausted and emotional today. The pressure of keeping up with deadlines, preparing for Bean's arrival and final preparations for our wedding is really starting to take it's toll this week. I am counting down the days until I go on leave mid-December, and as awful as it sounds, I'm looking forward to the peaceful calm after our wedding (of course I want to savour every last minute of planning and I want to enjoy the day, but being pregnant and planning a wedding simultaneously is not for the faint at heart!)

After taking a break to catch up on blogs and to do some thinking, I realised that I'm feeling frazzled because I've been trying to squeeze as much as possible into every day. I've been waking up earlier, arriving at work earlier, doing all my regular launching, shooting and writing, making phone calls to various wedding service providers, organising my medical aid ahead of the birth, planning my maternity leave, and doing the occasional blog post here and there, on top of cooking and regular household chores, and yet I still insist on scrubbing every possible surface in our house and reorganising every cupboard or cabinet we have on top of all that. Is it any wonder that, by the time I collapse into bed at night, I'm absolutely shattered?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not an incredibly organised person but, over the years, I've learnt that there aren't many naturally organised people out there. The secret lies in making lists (and sticking to them, of course!) I'm an avid list-maker and I doubt I'd be able to get through the day without one. But these ridiculously long 'to-do' lists I've been writing up for myself are the very reason why I'm feeling so low on energy. Ordinarily, I'd even create a 'to-do' list for my weekend - things like go watch a movie, repack my wardrobe, go for a walk... all well-intended, but I can't help but feel as though I haven't achieved much or spent my time wisely if I don't manage to tick off everything on my list. As I'm writing this, there's a part of me that is yelling 'Noooo! No list? Whyyyyy?', because I feel like I still have SO much to do (scrub walls in bathroom, wash windows, paint baby's room), but I'm going to make a concerted effort not to make a list this weekend. I will rest and do as I please at all times. Not in the mood for grocery shopping? There's always Monday, and a supply of Provitas in the pantry. I'll have plenty of opportunities to be grown up and responsible when Bean arrives in February, so I'm reverting back to my carefree adolescence and taking the weekend off (long lie-ins and lounging around listening to music essential!) Here's to a happier week next week!